Do not kill your ego
Ego is misunderstood, killing it is not in your best interest
“Kill your ego” is popular verbiage. The idea is that our obsession with self is the root of misery and wrongdoing.
Many approaches to peace—mindfulness, meditation—rely on silencing thoughts that stem from ego. In professional spaces, ego gets a bad rap too. The best coworkers aren’t egoistic. So much so that the term is an insult. It carries an aura of selfishness and self-obsession that’s seen as undesirable.
This always feels strange to me. Ego—our sense of self—is an outcome of our pre-frontal cortex and the default mode network. These are the most evolved part of our brain. Why suppress it?
There are two forces, I think, driving the “kill your ego” hype.
Ego breeds discontentment
When you have a strong sense of self and care deeply about identity, purpose, and values, you constantly measure yourself against your ideals. Ego keeps pushing you toward a better version of yourself, often reminding you that you’re falling short. This brings a natural discontentment, which is frequently misinterpreted as unhappiness.
Much of self-help and mindfulness practices focus on quieting this discontentment by silencing the ego. The most evolved part of consciousness gets muted so we can coast, uninterrupted by big thoughts, into a kind of peaceful stasis.
In our effort to achieve peace, we risk muting the very part of us that fuels ambition and self-growth.
It’s like running away from the very part of you that’s responsible for progress and self-reflection, or everything that makes us uniquely human. It’s the pinnacle of evolution that leads humans to do great things. The drive to improve, to rise above our current state—these are capabilities our ego brings. Yet the “kill your ego for peace” philosophy suggests we should stifle it for a little peace in the present.
What no one mentions are the trade-offs.
Ego makes you a “bad worker”
Having an ego can make you a misfit in the workforce. The very nature of a job requires you to place a lesser value on yourself than you might actually deserve—that’s how a business captures value from your skills and intellect.
If you hold your self-worth too highly, if you focus deeply on your values and purpose, that doesn’t align with what most businesses want. A worker with a strong sense of self isn’t as pliable as one who’s simply there to do the job.
This critique may sound harsh, but I’d argue there’s a kernel of truth here. Ego doesn’t always serve the priorities of the corporate structure. It makes us question, push back, and even challenge the very structure that needs us to be cooperative for maximum productivity.
In both cases, “killing your ego” might promise tranquility, but it also means sacrificing a part of what drives us to become more than what we are today.
Honor your ego. Seek peace, be kind, and stay receptive to feedback—but don’t mistake that for erasing your self-worth.
Do not kill your ego.
Ego can be visualized as a double-edged sword. When handled with caution and a sense of purpose, it can drive personal growth and ambition, enabling us to reach new heights. Just as a sword, when properly wielded, can protect or advance its user, a healthy ego can push us to take the calculated risks necessary to succeed. For example, someone aspiring to lead a team or start a new venture may rely on a degree of self-confidence, rooted in ego, to take that leap forward despite the challenges.
However, like the sharp blade of a sword, ego has its dangerous edge. When unchecked, it can lead to overconfidence, blinding us to potential pitfalls and weaknesses, and can even alienate others. Think of the warrior who fails to notice the rust forming on their blade, only to have it shatter in a critical moment. Similarly, if we ignore or deny the downsides of our ego, we risk being blindsided by our own pride or stubbornness, which can harm us in unforeseen ways.
To truly harness the power of ego, we must also engage in its regular upkeep. Just as a sword requires sharpening against a whetstone to maintain its effectiveness, so too does ego demand active reflection and management. By recognizing our own limitations, seeking feedback, and grounding our confidence in humility, we can keep our ego balanced—sharp enough to push us forward, but honed carefully so it doesn’t turn against us.
Remember those lines from ZNMD, "HAWAA KE JHOKE KE JAISE AZAAD REHNA SIKHO, TUM EK DARIYA KE JAISE BEHNA SIKHO.." - that's the essence of "Killing your ego" - freedom from the rigid belief that you can only exist in a certain way! It doesn’t mean holding back on putting your best effort in your pursuits; rather, it’s about doing so as a duty, for the sake of the effort itself. Those are disjoint concept in bhagavat geeta and I guess you mixed up the too. Nevertheless, it was refreshing read, particularly the part on how the self help interpretation of this concept benefits the corporate.